She is sitting in my lap while I try to work on a deadline. I also need to go to the restroom.
But that soft, innocent face, those eyes which say that I am her whole world, hold me back. We think a lot (some of us do, atleast) about what we want to add to the world, what good we want to do to the world, but a lot of times we end up taking the most immediate people and beings around us for granted or judge them too harshly for small mistakes. Like while I was typing this post, my kitty’s tail whooshed past the mouse, and suddenly the text field was empty.
She just accidentally deleted everything I wrote 😀
Of course, I did a Ctrl+Z and got it back. But the normal reaction would be to get irritated. But, ironically speaking, even as I write this post, I realized how that would be taking her for granted! So often, without meaning to, without realizing we are doing it, we take things and people and situations for granted. We think we can treat them bad because it doesn’t matter. Or we think they aren’t going anywhere, so it doesn’t matter.
But it does matter.
If we were on the receiving end of it, it would matter, right? Then it matters the other way round too.
I’ll take the example of my cat as she lives with me 24×7.
Cats are really affectionate albeit misunderstood beings.
And my cat is exceptionally so. She never disturbs me when I’m sleeping…even if she wants me to open the bedroom door to get out, she only gently makes noises to wake me up very sweetly, not harshly. There is almost always a reason for her erratic behaviour, when there is some.
And she fully understands what I say to her. She knows when I’m apologizing to her and when I’m asking her to eat food and to not chew my muffler and what not.
There was a phase when I was exceptionally unhappy and stressed and ended up shouting a lot at her because I was getting irritated with her biting me. Then I connected with my third eye and was trying to find a solution.
I realized that somewhere I was feeling hurt about her biting me, as it was reminding me of some other wrongs someone else did, and was taking it out on her. As a result, she was feeling distanced from me and neither of us was being able to express our love for each other.
The change that changed it all
So I stopped shouting at her and started telling her the same thing very affectionately and did not try to hold myself back when showing affection. Earlier I was feeling that she doesn’t want my affection, or it doesn’t mean anything to her, that’s why she was biting me. But actually, she was biting me just out of playful intimacy.
Within one day the whole thing changed.
Now every day (or even evening) whenever I wake up, my cat comes and rubs her nose on my nose (in cat world that is like kissing you) and listens to me for everything. I’m sure she even understands when I tell her that I’m sorry for being late in cleaning her litter box, but I’ll do it asap, right after finishing this deadline. She just purrs. She understands.
A small change, big difference. After all…
I am all the family she has.
And I never let myself take that for granted. I can go to other people & talk to other family & friends. But I am the only friend and family she has.